by
posted 11/13/2012
Coaches, Parents and Players,
Over the years, Triton Youth soccer coaches have been seen by ECYSA Referee's as being some of the worst in the leaque with regards to behavior to the Referee's. We stressed at the coaches meetings that this has got to change. It appears that it has and I want to thank the Triton coaches for their hard work this season and the new look we have placed before ECYSA.
I want to share an Email with you that I just received from ECYSA. I think we all can learn from this, and see where we can continue to show that TYSA (parents, players, and coaches) are the best in the leaque.
Thanks again,
Jim Rolfe
TYSA Town Director
Subject: Please Read
Hi Folks,
I will put my words in blue and leave the referee's words in black.
As you will read, input matters.
The referee who writes this is a very good referee. Coaches are happy to see him walk on their fields to do their games.
He is also a very nice man who is liked and respected in the referee community.
Some referees have popped up on my radar screen for all the wrong reasons.
I have dealt with them.
They learn from their mistakes, or they have wages garnished, serve a suspension imposed by me, or are terminated from refereeing in ECYSA.
This referee does not fall into any negative categories
The referee below does a steady schedule of three U-14's per Saturday. Not easy for anybody, regardless of your conditioning.
Losing him would have been a blow.
Ben,
An interesting thing happened at Triton this weekend. I had 3 U14 games, and by the end of the third game I had more or less decided to call you and tell you I was retiring from refereeing at the end of the season. I figured I should at least tell you rather than just disappear by not filling out an availability next season.
There was nothing particularly bad about any of the games, this has just been building for a while, I've been going back and forth with myself all season about continuing. There was nothing particularly bad about Saturday's games, they were 3 competitive D2 games that went off reasonably well, on a beautiful day on the perfect Triton fields in Byfield. I just haven't been enjoying it very much lately.... actually haven't been enjoying it much since Spring season last year. In any case, when I blew the final whistle for the last game, as I walked off the field I made the decision that this would be my last season.
Then the coaches from both teams came over and told me what I great job I did, one of the Triton coaches had also coached the first game I refereed that day (I hadn't noticed) and was particularly effusive in his praise. He told me he saw me running the field hard and calling offsides in the first game (which according to him doesn't always happen in U14), and prepared his later team (a girl's team) to run an offside trap because he knew I'd get it. These coaches spent more than a few minutes telling me how impressed they were. I told the coach that he had just kept me in the league with his remarks, because I had decided to go home and pack it in, but he'd made me reconsider.
I'm not writing this to toot my own horn, but just to let you know that the feedback matters. The coaches and parents in this league are generally pretty good sportsmanship-wise, but you inevitably get a little stick, it's just the way it is. The handshakes at the end are great but you know it's a formality. It builds up after a while, and eventually you don't look forward to going out on Saturday and taking the little digs from the sidelines - especially from the parents and coaches. From the players doesn't bother me because they are kids and they are in the heat of play, and I have no problem dealing with them. But it bothers me from the parents and coaches. I got into refereeing because I didn't like the refereeing when I coached in ECYSA and said to myself "I can do better than that." Of course, when I actually got into it refereeing was a lot harder than it looked. In any case, a primary reason I do it is because I believe in youth soccer as a great activity for kids and I want to support it.... in other words, I'm out there running the field so the kids can play soccer, and these kids parents are giving me stick, when most of them couldn't run the length of the field without having a heart attack. It bothers me; I'd much rather the coaches and parents think we were all in this together, doing something for the kids, rather than that I'm some version of the enemy (even if only subconsciously). The funny thing here is that I often have a much better relationship with the 8th graders on the field than I do with my adult peers on the sidelines. Many times they know they've committed a foul when I blow the whistle and they give me a sheepish grin when their parents are hollering something from the sideline.
Like I say the stick from the sidelines isn't bad in ECYSA; it just builds up after a while internally. My wife says I don't have a thick enough skin for this job, and she's probably right. But the occasional genuine positive interaction makes a huge difference; I've realized that my real issue is just the fact that as a referee, you spend the day alone and can't be a part of the camaraderie that's going on, and for me it is difficult being the "odd man out" every weekend. The Triton coaches at the end of the last game this past weekend made me feel part of the program and it meant a lot. (There was also a Pentucket coach in the first game, a foreign gentleman, who did the same thing). Anyway, for what it is worth.
All of you know who your arm chair referees are.
You know your coaches who deem it necessary to officiate from their technical areas.
In many instances the area furthest away from the goal or touch line in question.
Can they do better? Perhaps ask them to give it a try.
This is not being sent to beat anybody up. I have nothing but the highest of praise for all of you, and the thankless work you put in.
I will be sending each of you some information, via email , about the number of referees in your area, and upcoming referee classes offered by the state.
In summary, I look forward to seeing all of you tomorrow night.
Thank you,
Ben Reed
USSF & ECYSA Referee Assignor
